Thank God (replace with: Allah, Bahá'í, Buddha, Hashem, Jehovah, etc. where appropriate) for poor fat bigots, because it is a reminder that I am rich, skinny and smarter than they are (and would suck to be them). for politicians, lawyers, tv evangelists and gay (lesbian, queer, fag, homo, etc.) pride parades, because it gives me something to laugh at. for the significant other who hogs the covers every night, because he/she is not out with someone else. for the teenager who is not doing dishes but is watching tv, because that means he/she is at home and not on the streets. for the taxes that I pay, because it means that I am employed. for the mess to clean after a party, because it means that I have been surrounded by friends. for the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat. for my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am out in the sunshine. for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home. for all the complaining I hear about (legal abortions, the loss of the environment, the inefficient government, greedy corporations, etc.) because it means that we have freedom of speech. for the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation. for my huge heating or cooling bill, because it means I am comfortable. for the ugly fat lady behind me in church that sings way off key, because it means that I can hear and see. for the huge pile of dirty laundry, because it means I have clothes to spare. for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard. for the alarm that goes of in the early morning hours, because it means that I am alive. for little girls, because they grow up in a most delightful way (and I like them young). and finally.......for too much eMail (F.Y.I. this was sent to me, I thought it had some merit so I put it on my site) , because it means I have friends, family and spammers who are thinking of me.